Disneyland Paris is the only Magic Kingdom-style DIsney park in the world without a Jungle Cruise attraction. This is, as the French say, "so stoopeed." Surely at some stage during he park's design, the world-famous Jungle Cruise must have been at least considered for inclusion. Since the French park likes to put its own spin on the classic attractions, we wondered what ways the Jungle Cruise might've been altered for Frencn audiences.

This is what we came up with:

Climb aboard the Seine Suzette, skippered not by a human cast member, but instead by a "hilarious" animatronic Jerry Lewis. Glide through waters infested by mimes and French poodles. There are no headhunters on this ride, but you'll jump with fear when during the scenes when the loud American tourists suddenly burst out of the brush and start snapping photos.

The jokes aren't as good as they are on the original, but they always get bigger laughs. Why? Because the other thing that's different about Disneyland Paris is that you can also buy alcohol in it.